A confusing family dinner

I could watch the landscape unroll but I can't keep my eyes open. As always, the train makes me sleepy and I can't stop my head from hitting the window, again and again. I know the landscape anyway. The green fields, the sheep and their wires, the small brick houses. It’s a typical English countryside. I’m on my way to a family dinner. All the way, I can't help wondering why this is happening in England when I am French and so is my family. Still, I feel I have to go.
The train stops at an empty station. A low red bridge over the rails allow pedestrian to get from one platform to another. I’m standing there, still. I should know the way to the house but I'm confused. I hope somebody's picking me up. I think they are.

As I get to the house, I am a hundred percent sure something is wrong. This is not the house I grew up in. Instead of the simple Normand house, I am facing a huge and beautiful Victorian mansion. Once open, the massive wooden door faces an impressive staircase set at the back of a beautiful white reception room with a high cellar.
I go up there to unpack my suitcases and funny enough; this is exactly like my parent's house’s first floor. The confusion gets stronger.
It takes me a while to get ready. I can hear the noise from downstairs, filling up the dining room. Glasses clattering, guests chatting, kitchen staff hurrying. My mum comes up to check on me. She tells me to hurry but I have to pack my suitcase now. I don't want to miss tomorrow's train and am afraid I will get lazy in the morning. My sister's friend is getting changed while she's scrutinizing the room. I am sorting my magazines by languages when she comes to me. I explain to her that some are in English, others in French and quickly summarise their topics which seems to satisfy her curiosity. They both leave me to complete my task. I know the dinner as started and I'm late but I can't get this done. It's taking me ages and the more I pack, the more I need to pack. The bag is full.
I'm nearly ready when I hear the door opening. I recognise the deep and soft voice saying "I have to go, have a good evening". It's M, one of my high school friend. He can't be leaving so early it's only 9pm! But I know he works shifts. I am so angry at myself for having being packing when I should have been with him, talking, laughing and enjoying his company. So I drop everything I hold and start running downstairs as fast as I can. In my hurry, I didn't think on putting proper clothes on and half the way down I realise I am wearing one of my sexiest black bustier and a string (1). This is not exactly a family dinner outfit. Never mind, I don't have time to go back upstairs and get changed. I grab a kitchen towel lying on the banister to cover my ass and keep running toward him. He laughs at my sight but he doesn't judge my outfit. I know him for a long time, he saw me looking much worst and (if possible) more stupid than now. He gives me a hug and apologies for leaving early. I apologies for taking so long (2). I can feel my family staring at us and more precisely at my bottom through the open doors but decide to ignore it. And wake up.

(1) Bridget Jones' style
(2)This is when I decide that we are definitely in England. Nobody ever apologies that much in France.

The good old times

The weather is perfect. The sun is shining; the atmosphere is warm but not stifling. The forest (1) is bright green. The water fresh. It's spring.
Kids are splashing around, people chatting, walking up and down the path which follow the river. It feels very much like the river that runs near my home in Normandy. Where my friends and I use to swim in the summer. 
I actually am with some friends. We've been here for some time, playing around in the water. It's time to go. We get out of the water and start drying ourselves up. Suddenly, a shark storms out of the river like a jumping fish (2) and falls on the bank! His teeth are huge and everybody quickly steps away from him. Everybody but me. I can see the sharp knives that are his teeth and his exorbitant eyes but my brain is not processing this information. When it should be thinking "danger, danger, run away you fool, it's gonna eat you alive". I think "Surely, a shark is not supposed to be on a river bank but in the water. Therefore, if we leave it there, it's gonna die. So, we have to push it back into the water" (3). No need to say, my friends are in no way willing to help me. So I walk to the other side of the beast, the furthest to the river, and start pushing it. It's heavy but I manage to roll it up to the river and whoa whoa whoa! That's no a tail! Hold on! It's not a shark!! It's a Stingray! (4) Holy S**t! Ok now, I'm wetting my pants, I don't want to be the next Steve Irwin!!(5) Very, very slowly, I make it slide back in the water. Once fully immersed, the Stingray smoothly goes away. I can't believe it, my friends can't believe it.

 An hour later, I'm facing a wooden table and shelves. The furniture are dark and old. It's probably more 35th than 2nd hand. The flat is tiny. So is the window which gives on the main shopping street. I'm with a childhood friend in the town closest to my parents' village. She shares the flat with her boyfriend and their baby. The more I look at it, the more I wonder how they fit in here. We're chatting about unimportant matters. I feel more obliged to be here by politeness and my parents’ wishes than true will. I keep looking at my watch as I don't want to be late for diner. This is an excuse. My parents would understand if I wanted to enjoy my friend's company longer. Thing is, she's not my friend anymore and I'm not really enjoying her company. Out of boredom I look at the window, wondering which ugly view they will have on the street. I am not disappointed. There is one meter between theirs and the neighbour's wall. It's the narrowest part of the street, looking more like a back alley. However, the bakery is just on their left. I can smell its sweet perfume so I bend a little more over the window. That's when I see another of my childhood friend, loading bread in a car. His parents are the bakery's owner and he's off to deliver it. I wave at him to come up! He smiles and shouts "Later, I'm on deliveries!” I give him a thumbs up!

He walks in the shop with a big smile on his face. "My oh my, it's been years! So you're definitely back?" he asks. "It looks like it" I assert not wanting to give any definite answers. "This looks great" he adds before walking past me and in the shop located right under my friend's flat. The grey metal shelves are filled with hardware. Mainly MP3 players & headsets. Mainly blue and green. It looks like the objects have been chosen more on a colour criteria than for their purpose. I like it. It looks cool and fun.
The place is filled with people holding glasses. It's champagne for everybody tonight as I'm inaugurating my shop. One by one, all of them come to congratulate me. I smile and nod. I'm happy. This is cool. My mum's so excited I fear she's gonna break her leg to give me luck.
By the time the clock hits 10pm, my family has left. Quickly, we fall back in our old roles. Norbert becomes the victim of our friendly jokes; Anthony seats an inch higher than the other like an old wolf on a rock; Mathieu seats aback smoking a cheap cigarette; Sylvain keeps the smile he had on his face all day since I saw him from the window; Bruno checks out the girls. They, laugh at the boy's old routine. All these people that I haven't seen for years are the same. Still young, still silly. I am no different to them. Time has passed but we haven't changed (6).

(1) I do dream a lot about forest these days.... I haven't watched "Forest Gump" lately so that must come from the fact that I now live in a forest...
(2) Which it's not- a fish I mean. Well ok, it's not normally jumping either...
(3) I love how pragmatic I get in my dreams...All logic, logic, logic...
(4) Stingrays & sharks are related, so my unconscious is not so twisted...
(5) RIP Steve, I loved your shows...
(6) I wish!

Out of place

 The night is very dark as I walk up the hill. The colourful pub's lanterns are the only lights guiding my path. It’s all very relaxing til I am suddenly stopped by a high pitched sound. Is there somebody calling my name? Yes A is running towards me like her arse is on fire! Her bottom is quite something and we've never been very close, even before the fall-out, so I can't help but wonder "what has gotten into her?" (2). Over her large back (which I'm not exaggerating is incredibly big compared to her skinny body), I can see A-L just getting to the top of the hill. My ex-flatmate's chubby body and curly blond hair is waving with her footsteps, from left to right. I am just about to turn around when A catches up with me. "Hey, *my real name- which is not Cixxi as I hope you have guessed* how are you? Such a long time!" I kind of want to reply "it didn't seem long enough to me" but decide against it. Before I can think of a better answer, she adds: "We're going to the pub, joining?". “We are on a dark hill with nothing but a pub, where did you think I was going?". Again, I refrain myself. "Sure, I'm meeting the Dragon" I inform her. She knows the nickname of my (formerly our) friend (3) and a wide smile spreads on her face. "Great!!" she concludes.

The three of us enter the pub and still I'm not comfortable. I don't understand how they can think we're all good just because time has passed when none of our issues has been dealt with. And when you threaten to sue your friend, I think it's quite a big issue (4). I spot the Dragon sitting at a wooden table in the middle of the pub. Her brown hair only tied at the front by two hairclips. No need to be an animal whisperer to understand that she's not happy to see my two "accomplice". As soon as the two girls sit down, she quickly stands up and follows me to the bar. We order two pints (5), which are quickly served, go back to the table but somehow we can't find them. "Oh well" say our dark eyes, we walk away.

I found myself in the kitchen with my nieces. We're preparing diner. The oldest is baking a chocolate cake. She wants to be a Chocolatier and definitely shows skills for it. They are not visiting, they're living with me. We behave and work as if we know the routine. This is our daily routine. L, the youngest, dips her fingers in the dough and makes a proper mess of her. Her light brown hair is stuck to her round cheeks. I give her an earful and order her to clean herself. M doesn't smile as she normally would, too happy for her sister to be upset, she calmly keeps on cooking. L comes back clean. I feel relax and believe they do too. They are safe, far from the adults' worries and I intend to keep it that way as much as I can. I wake up, and wish it was that easy.

(1)Actually, you can be both. You will notice, forgiveness is not my main strength. I am working on it though...
(2) Bonus point for those who answered: "Fire".
(3)You can read my portrait of the Dragon here
(4) Talking about that, please buy it as often as you can http://www.bigissue.com/
(5)Which is funny since the Dragon is a t-total...

A-team and siblings lovin

I am in the street chatting with my two colleagues. You might know them. There is Face, the smooth operator and Murdock, the insanely funny pilot. Yes my friends, I am part of the A-team. The three of us are sitting outside a tall white concrete building. Face, wearing a grey jacket with a beige shirt and matching pants, is standing next to me. He's looking around with an insuppressible smile on his face. Murdock is sitting legs wide open staring at the floor as if he was awaiting something amazing to come out of it any minute. Sadly, I have no idea what we are doing or waiting for.

A moment later, I am no longer an army veteran but my old self. I am in the tiny street of an old town. Built with typical Southern yellow stones. I am not awaiting anymore, I am having a huge argument with my sister (1). She's insulting me, calling me names and spitting her anger at my face. Thing is, I actually haven't done anything wrong, she's just turning her anger on me (2) and I hate it. I hate it so much I can feel a ball of rage building up in my stomach. I could rip her head off after making her swallow her dirty words back. But I won't do it. "Never be as idiot as the idiots" my mum taught me so I keep it in, I keep calm and walk away. The anger in my eyes are like shotguns, no bazookas. I look at her one last time before turning my back on her and she stops yelling. Realising that she has hit it. The point of no return.
We are suppose to have a family diner. I slowly go to my mum, kiss her softly on the cheek and start walking away again. She asks me "what happens?". "I am not sitting at a table with this person, she has ruined it all" is all I say. My sister arrives, hoping that, as usual, I'll just let go. She is ashamed of herself and I make sure she stays this way. I raise my voice and apologies to everybody for not staying. I turn to her, my mother is standing between us two like the judge between two cowboys. I shot first. "I do not know you anymore, do not call me "sister", you can stay but I won't share my meal with you". My mum is bemused, tears are rising up. My sister is standing agash. She can't say a word. The ball is still sit in my stomach. I take it with me, hoping that every steps on the other direction will destroy it. Inch by inch.

(1) Anybody with siblings knows how mad at them you get sometimes
(2) As they often do

Some days you are better off staying in bed

 As I enter in my flat, I hear the unfamiliar sound of a familiar noise. What does it mean? Well, I can hear the usual rumbling of hay and bedding in the cage. What's unusual is the level. No way my guinea pigs, as fat as they are, can make so much noise. I walk to the cage and freeze when I see two Chinchillas playing around. Obviously distressing the unwilling hostess.
All I need to do is take them out and set them free so they can go back to wherever they come from. Easier said than done. I try to grab them but the nocturnal animal is astonishingly fast. I'm bending, nearly falling, turning around, but I just can't get hold of them! One second they are on me, the next on top of the cage, behind me then hiding in the hutch! I'm starting to get tired of them.
All the while, somebody else is feeling sleepy.
A little black fluffy animal is all balled up on the wood chips. At first, I think it's dead. But no, it's not dead and it’s neither a Chinchilla nor a guinea pig. When it lifts his head and open his big brown eyes, I instantly recognise the cheeky nose of a Squirrel. I pick up the little rodent, wondering what I am gonna do with all of them. While the Chinchillas are playing around under the angry eyes of Tira and Mitsu.

I have finally managed to sort out the pet situation and am now walking around the office. I bump into a colleague who invites me to meet her after work. I assure her I will do before returning to my office.
At the end of the day, I drive away from the car park toward the pub where I’ll share a drink with a group of colleagues I am friend with. They wave at me as I drive into a parking space. It seems to be no more than 200m between my office and the pub, but when my colleague calls me and I realise I have forgotten our meeting, I find it impossible to simply ask her to walk here. In no time, I have said my goodbyes and am in my car driving back to the office (an other 200m...).
Turns out, I am definitely unable to do anything right this day! I can't fnd my colleague! She was at the window a minute ago waving at me and now she's gone. It looks that there is a buffet downstairs. Maybe I should check it out. I need to change my shoes though. I'm wearing some huge sleepers with reindeer faces! I can tell you, it looks pretty silly! Again, I am struggling to get rid of them and find a proper pair of shoes. After what feels like ages, I finally find some descent shoes and walk into the huge room. Dozens of people are drinking and eating crackers. I have no idea what's going on and will never find out. I wake up.